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Jelly_Bean25
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Name: Angela
State: Florida
Metro: Orlando
Birthday: 12/29/1982
Gender: Female
Interests: Music, Writing, Music, Baking, Music, Quilting, Music, My Friends, Music, Hugs, Whiskey.
Expertise: Business and how to get people to buy something they don't want or have the money for.
Occupation: Administrative
Industry: Business
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
10/8/2004
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| Things I want to tell the whiny brides on the message boards. Maybe I will after I get married. Mwahahahahaha! 1. Yes, you CAN put your registry cards in your wedding invitations. It's your freaking wedding. Why go through the hassle of making the guest who wants to - BY CHOICE - buy you a gift ask around to see where you registered? Um - stupid. IMHO, which if you didn't know means In My Humble Opinion. 2. On Eagles' Wings is not a funeral song. Sorry. Doesn't allude to or mention anything about death. In fact, it very nearly quotes Isaiah 40:31 which is about living and God sustaining you. GET OVER IT. 3. If you want an outdoor wedding, then DON'T BE CATHOLIC!! If you want to be Catholic, then DON'T HAVE AN OUTDOOR WEDDING. 4. Don't be a jerk about people's weight that you would like to have in your wedding. Side note: a skinny belt on a pumpkin orange jersey knit is first off, UGLY for a wedding, and secondly doesn't make a thicker girl feel thinner. And no, it's NOT universally flattering. Thank you for thinking outside of your size 0 box, Bridezilla 2009. 5. Yeah - it's a mother-in-law, and NO, you're not always going to get along. Stop whining. If your man can't man up and tell his mom that she isn't his wife, then YOU DO IT. 6. If you're pissed that your fiancee went to a strip club for his bachelor party and you were trying to be the cool fiancee and not disallow it then it's your freaking fault that you feel crappy about it now. He did a stupid thing that will only seek to haunt your self esteem for a little while longer than it will take to hear from other "cool" soon-to-be-regretful brides on this post. Good choice, buttercup. 7. Can't stress this enough. If it's your wedding...then...it's YOUR WEDDING. Suck it up, make decisions and tell other people, including your mother - if necessary, to can it. Thank you. | | |
| Just as a disclosure, I am not nervous about the marriage or Paul. I am simply anxious about the wedding details and bills. Honestly.
So, the wedding is getting closer, which is very awesome. I have been getting fluttery feelings for quite some time now. But those fluttery feelings have recently been followed by short gasps of air and racing thoughts of the one million things I still need to do and pay for before 6 weeks and 5 days is over. YIKES!! It was to the point where these not-too-happy-fluttery-gasping-thoughts-racing feelings were resulting in the inability to move forward in work or in wedding DIY stuff.
I have since consulted friends, who immediately suggested that if I would like to remain sane and seriously get through this wedding, I would need to go see my doctor. I was very apprehensive, as I immediately felt guilty about considering chemical interference to be able to cope. To me, I've gotten over seeing it as a sign of weakness, but my family has certainly not. So, I stayed open about it with my parents, and I went to see my doctor. He was very understanding that while I wanted to get this under control and not stare off into my computer screen instead of continuing with my checklist, I still didn't want to have a high dosage of something that would make me unable to concentrate.
He prescribed me a low dose of Xanax to begin with, but with a few refills in case I needed more between now and the wedding. It's doubtful that I will get through the first bottle before then, but it's nice to know that I have relief. Unfortunately, my parents have not been too happy that I can finally get relief to function normally. My mom was shocked that he "just gave" me pills. I let her know he didn't just do anything, but she kept questioning if I really needed them. She told me that I should just be able to calm myself down and not get so burned out. My question to her was "who is going to do all of this if I don't?" She didn't have an answer.
The next day, I was feeling sick, and she said, "It must be ALL of those drugs going through your system, honey." The honey part didn't help, and I freaked out on her. I had one pill 24 hours before I started feeling sick, but she was certain that I was sick because of the quarter of a milligram of Xanax that was doing this to me. Since then, I've had nearly the same conversation with her sister. Both of them only have my other two aunts as Xanax references. These two women happen to drink and take these drugs at the same time. They have also been on them for quite some time for personal reasons, I am sure. So to my mother and her sister, I will become these two women who have yet to come off of Xanax, since they are sure I will continue to use them whenever I get stressed about "just about anything else, probably."
It's shocking to me that they would look at me in this light and then also refuse to hear my pleas for understanding and a need for mental help during these stressful times. Hopefully, I can be an example to them that it's possible to use these kinds of medication for their intended purpose and then discontinue using them once that stressful time has passed. We'll see. Until then, I'm sure they will be forming an intervention group...just in case.
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| It always comes back. Call it karma. Call it God's wrath. Call it what you will. But negative deeds done towards other will result sin negative things done to you. I've seen a lot of that this week - of people just randomly behaving poorly towards me for personal gain. Of course, you get angry, but it doesn't really matter to get angry in the end.
What I really want is to see them get theirs. I've already been told repeatedly by my father that it's not the Christian thing to do. And it's not like I wish bad things on them. I just know that it will happen. I'd just like to be present when it does. I'm sure I've talked about this before, but it's really getting to me to have to constantly frown and ask why people would do that.
A girl on craigslist sold these tables an hour before we were supposed to meet for me to buy them. Her reasoning, you ask? Because someone else showed up first and had the money, and she didn't think she should call to let me know before I drove 45 minutes out there and 45 minutes back. It was funny to have someone say, "OMG, that's so immature." I don't think you can legally say OMG and call someone else immature in the same paragraph, much less the same sentence.
A guy at work either sneaks around and finishes team projects on his own, presenting them to make himself the hero while we're doing our work and working on the project. Literally, he lets his regular work go undone for days to do this. After attempting to force him to work as a team, he just took our ideas, implemented them and again presented it as his.
This pisses me off for obvious reasons, but I seriously have to wonder how people do these things. What causes someone to honestly not care about others by default? I get being selfish. Everyone is selfish to a degree. Just what makes someone literally not take others into consideration...ever?
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| Last night, after one of the worst days I've had in a long time, my aunt called, with bad news about my cousin. I won't go into it now. While I was complaining about things, she did what I needed her to do...what I needed everyone to do yesterday...validate me (and some did - thank you!!)...tell me I was right to feel that way (and some did - thank you!!)...and then, she said, "Don't let yourself be angry. There's just no room in our lives for anger, is there, sweetie?"
Think about that. Think about the attic that is your brain. Instead of adding more storage for everything you want to dwell in, spread out the good stuff and make more room by not giving space to angering things. She then added, "Things could be a lot worse." She's right...again. I could be 16 years old, lying in a hospital again while my body attacks itself. I could have infections that can't be stopped, and I could be told that there is no way to help me but to "try" an experimental drug.
I could be a parent watching my 16-year-old in a hospital bed, where's he has been for the most part of 4 years, and I could be forced to tell him that I don't actually know if everything will be alright. I could be explaining to him right now that he is a good person and he does have his whole life ahead of him, but know in the back of my mind that he might not get to see it.
Yeah - I've had a really bad monetary experience with my roommate. I've had a coworker all over my back for reasons that no one can explain. I don't have a head start on my new life, and I have to rely heavily upon other people to help. But I'm 26. I don't have leukemia that won't let go. I am able to walk without a walker. I can type with both hands. I've never had a stroke. I don't need a port in the middle of my torso for medication.
Perspective makes all of the difference.
Thank you God that I have money with which to have bad roommate experiences, that I have a job in which a coworker can be hateful to me, a family and soon-to-be family who can't wait to lend a hand, and I have the health to be able to keep having these experiences, good or bad. It seems simple, but take a minute and realize just how good you all have it. I don't know who will read this, but trust me...you DO have it good.
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| Too many people are my "friends" on there that know too many other people who aren't. I can't express any true emotion for fear of offending anyone. Apparently, I do the same here, but on a much smaller scale. I won't EVEN go in to that ridiculousness.
At what point do your parents (should your parents) legally stop saying the phrase "under my roof." I mean, seriously. If something is going on that you don't agree with, are your children supposed to pretend it's not there and ignore it while your "under their roof" and deny it? Or if they're 26 years old, should you say you've done what you can and leave them to their own decisions under or not under your roof? Let it go.
My parents want me to housesit/dogsit for them. Fine. I don't live there, but I would be for about 3 weeks. Well, I'm not a me. I'm a we. But they don't condone that I'm a we before marriage. I don't condone calling boyfriends friends or calling fiancees boyfriends. What's the point? Either way, I'm suddenly now back in this realm of being treated like I'm 17, and I can't tell you how it enrages me.
I used to be very angry. Now I know that either the situation isn't worth it or the person isn't. It's incredible how that one little switch can just turn up the flame on this unknown burner way back in the back of the stove. Who knew? Well, it's there. And I'm not going to dial it back. It's on or it's off. I pay large amounts of rent for not that large of a place, and I am forced to pay for OnDemand movie channels that I don't need to warrant the fact that I am an independent adult. I won't be bullied simply because I don't have to be.
This is sad. My parents, with whom I've always had a great relationship that has just made its way to incredible after I moved out, are suddenly making me angry in a way I thought was dead. Oh well. They choose. Piled up mail and a dog in the kennel for large fees OR get over the legalism. I'd personally choose the more cost-effective one.
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